A story of murder, intrigue, teeth, hot chicken dinners and aliens

The Vice-President, Billy Ray Atkinson, knows extra terrestrials are out there trying to make contact and is prepared to spend millions of taxpayer's dollars to prove the point. When he discovers an Australian Observatory has been picking up signals from deep space at the same time each year and each year they've been getting stronger, he wants to be there when they arrive. Though why the extra terrestrials where they don't speak English and whose people don't vote in the Primaries is something Billy Ray find hard to understand.

There's no accounting for taste, which is why the Vice President plans to build an extra terrestrial reception centre slap-bang in the middle of sacred aboriginal tribal land. Here they can be introduced to the American way of life. Not only will this include lucrative trade agreements and an exchange of technology (weapons that dematerialise terrorists in exchange for the original Coca-Cola recipe), but also full intergalactic catering rights to Louisiana Fried Chicken Balls. The fact that his cousin owns the company just happens to be one of those stranger coincidences.

30-year-old dentist David Andrews has more important things on his mind. Like trying to launch a secondary career as a ventriloquist with a dummy that won't cooperate. Finding a strange looking device cemented into the tooth of an embassy secretary just prior to the Vice President's visit sets David on a collision course with disaster.

David is arrested and beaten up while trying to return the secretary's handbag in the midst of an anti-US demonstration. Special Agent Ingrid Montello interrogates him. She's a CIA operative with the worst attitude and best legs he's ever seen. She finds David has masculine as a Wonderbra and would rather date his dummy but Chief of Staff Cummings has other ideas.

He orders Ingrid to stick close to David than a nylon shirt as a disco. Cummings believes David might be the key to an assassination attempt on the Vice President and wants the tooth implant found at all costs.

Ingrid thinks David might be the key to the men's washroom, until she finds him in the apartment of the embassy secretary who turns out to be extremely dead. In fact, almost everyone David comes into contact with dies which at least has the advantage of reducing the list of possible suspects.

As they close on the source of the dental implants, David and Ingrid become the targets of an unknown hit team. Nowhere is safe. Armed with only a cigarette lighter, a boomerang with Japanese instructions and a stolen Fried Chicken Balls van, Ingrid, and David have to outmanoeuvre the hit team and save the Vice-President from a fate worse than death, not that death isn't a pretty lousy fate in the first place.
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